went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I understand Curling. That high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
