im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
