so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
