Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
