Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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