new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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