You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
