I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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