Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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