Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
