hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
