If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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