member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
