SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
