She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize