Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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