My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
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