I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
