so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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