And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
