We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
