p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had to cum in my sink.
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