i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
