Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
