and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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