dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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