the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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