Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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