okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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