What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
