i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
