I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
