You just made me feel so damn special
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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