Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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