so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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