I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
