So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
