were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
