On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
