And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
