I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
