The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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