Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
