And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Panties = found
Randomize
