Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
where are you?
Hypothermia
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
