If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
