Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
