hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
