his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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