Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
