they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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